monologue

It's funny that when I sit down to write a blog post, it's difficult for me to look back on the last 48 hours or week & remember the storyline. The plot. The scenes in the episode.

I have always kept a journal or blog (as described in way too lengthy detail here) & when I read back through past entries, I'm taken aback by how much of my life I forget. Reading through my old Livejournal (yes, livejournal) a few nights ago, I came across an entry about an event day during my internship in 2008. I remembered the event, but did I remember that me & a volunteer got stuck in a paddleboat in the middle of the Elizabeth River 10 minutes before a crazy typhoon-like storm struck? No. & let me tell you, that is too hilarious of a memory to not have tucked away for a laugh. So, high-five, 2008-Kelsey-that-wrote-everything-down.

Or this entry, when Amelia & I taught a social media class this summer. In my half-asleep, exhausted stupor, I forgot to mention that after staying up half the night to perfect our presentation, I managed to leave half the tools we needed to GIVE said presentation as we walked out the door the next morning. Between me huddled in a corner of the room, trying to re-save the entire presentation in 10 minutes & Amelia having to fly back to her house, then getting stuck on the wrong side of a passing train on her way back, it was the absolute cluster-cuss that I've come to expect in my every day life. However, the presentation then went off without a hitch, aaaand cue Meredith Grey-esque voiceover monologue about friendship & growing up. See? Episode.

& it's not just funny episodes that I want to remember.This week's episode would probably, once again, be a lesson in patience. I think this is somewhat of a theme on this little blog, as both Jared & I are 25 & in life-limbo. He's not really done with school yet, I don't really have my dream job yet, we rent an apartment & we're still looking for an opportunity to move, in search of our forever-city. Most mornings, I wake up with the day seeming to have a big, dark cloud lingering above it, inscribed with "FUTURE" written across it in some horrible Microsoft Word font, like Chiller. It's in my nature to plan, & to worry when there isn't a plan. 

Of course, if this were an episode about patience & our future, it would end with a glimpse into "5 years from now..."  & in my heart of hearts, I KNOW that 5 years from now involves our roots being planted into some yard, in the form of what I hope to be a lemon tree.

So, for someone that is constantly worrying about the future, it's good to reflect on the recent (& sometimes not so recent) past. It's cathartic to look back on my day/week & make sense of the things I was brought to. How did I handle them? What did I learn? Even if there isn't a conclusion or lesson, there's at least the funny moments to store away forever. I want to be more purposeful in my life. More reflective - More in tune with what I'm being taught... & then storing that lesson for the inevitable day that I've forgotten it.

I'm blabbering. I'm also procrastinating. I have an event to work tomorrow & then we're making our annual visit to Busch Garden's halloween craziness on Sunday, so it would behoove me to get my last day of office productivity started. I've spent most of this morning stopping to smell the roses.

happy friday!