on capturing moments

Jared's dad outdid everyone in the Christmas gift-giving arena when he surprised each of the kids with their own DVD collection of their childhood home videos. Such a labor of love, as he converted each video to DVD, then had the patience to make 8 of each. I mean, bless that man. Hours - HOURS - were spent over the Christmas week watching Jared & his family in these videos, growing up & into the wonderful humans they are today.

It was eye-opening for me as someone who married into the family, just comprehending sibling dynamics & witnessing the scenes that are still referenced to this day. My sister-in-law Alex & I would often make eye contact during Reigner (her husband) & Jared scenes that were especially antic heavy, laughing at how much sense these videos were making of our dearly beloveds. Of course, I watch 3 yr. old Jared toddle across the screen & my mind wanders to how, eventually, we'll be pointing to those facial expressions & comparing them as something our child does. Pretty amazing, this treasure trove of Bethune Family Movies.

We ended our first night of watching the videos together by watching the "bonus feature" - Film from the 70's that captured my father-in-law & his brothers as young guys in southern California. A little ways into the video, my mother-in-law joined the group & then stayed in his videos for, well, forever. Sweet, right? The camera didn't capture sound, so his mom & dad narrated our way through it, talking us through their camping trips in Northern CA, the layout of their first house, Jared's eldest sister's first birthday, their cross-country trip to Virginia to make a new home... Absolutely priceless memories.

As we got ready to go, we all were struck with this feeling of good grief, we are not taking enough videos! What ever will we show our children! I mean, really, if I'm taking video, it's with the intention of turning it into a "music video" or because someone is doing something that we're going to want to replay at least once. (& let's face it, it's on my iphone & is the first thing that is getting deleted when I get that low space alert.) It's not the candid. It's not the every day moments that will be such a treasure to look back on. Even now, the childless first apartments that seem so insignificant but are so much a part of these early years of marriage - I want to capture it all.

There's this weird balance of not living our lives through a lens vs. not capturing memories & even staged photos vs. real life. It really bothers me that I can go to my parents house & flip through photo album after photo album, but if I want to see photos from the past in my own home, I have to get on my computer & access an external hard drive. My goal is to start printing photos this year. & ohhhh, there are so many I want to print. But I think it's important. (Just like I hope books never actually fade away into e-readers.) Jared has been put in charge of taking more videos, especially around our families & closest friends. Even beyond printing pictures & compiling videos is just prioritizing keeping my digital files organized. Such a drag... But so worth it.

Jared & I made this video almost immediately following the first night of watching their home videos... Feeling a little self-conscious because we definitely don't have a 70's VW van we're camping out of or California Redwoods as a backdrop to our mid-20's, hence my assertion that we're definitely having fun. Super silly (dumb?), but ya know, I'm already grateful to have it. Well, 50-something-year-old Kelsey is grateful, anyway.